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The Truth About Healing Podcast
The Truth About Healing is a trauma-informed, neuroscience-based podcast designed to cut through the overwhelming noise of modern wellness culture and explain what healing actually is and what it isn’t.
In an era flooded with mental health misinformation, toxic positivity, spiritual bypassing, and oversimplified “coping strategies,” this podcast offers clarity, accuracy, and grounded nervous system education.
Hosted by EMDR therapist and consultant Dana Carretta-Stein, the show reframes symptoms as intelligent survival responses and helps listeners understand why they feel stuck, burned out, anxious, or disconnected without shame or pathology.
This podcast bridges the gap between clinical knowledge and real life, translating complex concepts like EMDR, polyvagal theory, attachment trauma, and nervous system regulation into language that makes sense and actually helps.
The Truth About Healing Podcast
Episode 14: Marriage in the Hard Years with Eric Stein
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What does it actually take to keep a marriage strong when you're raising young kids, running multiple businesses, exhausted, ambitious—and very different people?
For this episode of The Truth About Healing, Dana is joined by her most personal guest yet: her husband, Eric Stein.
And yes, putting your husband on your therapy podcast is apparently a perfectly reasonable marital decision.
Dana and Eric have been together for more than a decade, built businesses side by side, become parents to two young children, and navigated plenty of conflict, growth, therapy, and change along the way.
This isn't a conversation about having a perfect marriage.
It's about what they've learned while building a real one.
Dana and Eric talk candidly about couples therapy, emotional avoidance, communication, ambition, parenting, division of responsibilities, resentment, risk, success, and why giving your partner room to grow may be one of the most important things you can do for a relationship.
Eric also opens up about his own experience with therapy—and what it was like learning to identify and express emotions as an adult after spending much of his life doing what many men are taught to do:
Push it down. Keep going. Handle it.
Because relationships don't stay strong because two people magically fit together.
They stay strong when two people are willing to keep learning how to fit together as life changes.
About Eric Stein
Eric Stein is a nationally recognized real estate professional, brokerage owner, developer, husband, and father.
Eric began his career in real estate at just 18 years old and has spent more than 20 years building businesses across the industry.
He is the owner of RE/MAX Distinguished Homes & Properties in Tuckahoe, New York, where he leads a top-producing brokerage. As an individual agent, Eric ranks among the top professionals in Westchester County and has been recognized among the top 1.5% of agents nationwide by RealTrends America's Best.
He also buys, renovates, and develops properties throughout Westchester County and the Bronx and has presented nationally on real estate negotiation and strategy.
But for this conversation, Dana isn't interviewing the real estate expert.
She's talking to her husband.
🏠 Connect With Eric:
www.westchesterhomesource.com
🏗️ Real Estate Investments:
www.westchesterhomesale.com
Subscribe and follow The Truth About Healing so you never miss a new episode.
And stay tuned for Part 2, where Dana and Eric dig deeper into what it's really like to build businesses while building a family.
Work With Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling
Relationships can activate some of our deepest patterns—and understanding those patterns can change how we communicate, connect, parent, and repair.
If you're struggling with relationship patterns, anxiety, trauma, burnout, or feeling stuck in survival mode, our team is here to help.
📍 In-Person Therapy: Scarsdale, NY
💻 Virtual Therapy: NY, NJ, CT, FL & CO
📅 Learn More:
www.peacefullivingmhc.com
Additional Resources
🧠 EMDR Resources for Clinicians & Clients
www.danacarretta.com/shop
🛠️ Recommended Therapy Tools, Regulation Resources & EMDR Systems for Clinicians
www.danacarretta.com/therapytools
🎁 Free Nervous System Resources
www.danacarretta.com/free
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Because healing gets easier when we stop doing it alone. 💛
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Welcome to another episode of The Truth About Healing, the podcast that's here to challenge everything you think you knew about therapy. I'm Dana Kerettain, EMDR and neuroinformed therapist. And I'm on a mission to help 10 million people change their patterns, relationships, and future generations by teaching them how to gain control of their nervous system. Let's go with it. On our episode of The Truth About Healing Today, we have our guest, and it's a very special guest for me, my husband, Eric Stein. Eric Stein got his start in real estate at just 18 years old. And over the past 20 plus years, you're very old, he has become one of the top professionals in the country, ranked in the top 1.5% of all agents nationwide by real trends, America's best. Today, he runs three businesses at once, for if you count managing me. As owner of Remax Distinguished Homes and Properties in Tacaho, New York, he leads a top-producing brokerage. As an individual agent, he ranks among the top 1% of Westchester County Realtors. And as a real estate developer, he buys, renovates, and flips properties throughout Westchester and the Bronx. A recognized authority in his field, Eric has presented at national conferences on negotiation and strategy, and his results have earned him the Remax Diamond Team Award and a reputation that reaches across the greater New York metropolitan area. Eric is passionate about real estate and the role a home plays in building wealth, security, and a better quality of life. He loves educating buyers, sellers, and investors on smart, strategic, and stress-free ways to navigate one of the biggest financial decisions of their lives. Beyond his businesses, Eric is an incredible husband and father, the kind of partner and dad who shows up fully for his family. He and his wife, this crazy chick Dana, are a power couple, both building thriving businesses side by side while raising their two young tiny tornadoes. And he pours the same dedication, heart, and drive into his family that he brings to every deal in the real estate world. Eric Stein, welcome to The Truth About Healing. Thank you, thank you. Thank you, brave soul.
SPEAKER_02It's you know, I I was invited on, I was, you know, scared, nervous, threatened from my life, you know, the normal stuff. Um, you know, the bio is great, but I think I have like a few more jobs. I think managing you is at least three, four jobs.
SPEAKER_03I would venture to say that is probably true.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_03Like I wrote, and so today we're filming um yesterday was Father's Day, so it's kind of perfectly timed. Um but yesterday Larry put in his card that he um what did I say? Like you're you're balanced and patient, basically everything I'm not.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03But this kind of segues into just our chat today because our relationship, everything we do, we're both self-employed, and balance is I think what we both bring to the table. Um, not individually, but basically my strengths and weaknesses and your strengths and weaknesses really do have a lovely balancing impact.
SPEAKER_00I agree.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. So let's just kind of go in. And I don't I have my iPad today because my stupid printer, our stupid printer, wouldn't print. Um but I just wanted to have like an honest conversation about us and like our lives are insane.
SPEAKER_02Just a little bit.
SPEAKER_03They're crazy, and our relationship works, and we do we have a lot of hard conversations, and we have two very demanding businesses. So I just wanted to have one of those like convos about what it's like, how we navigate that all, and hopefully some of that will be relatable to anyone listening.
SPEAKER_02100%. No, it's a it's a hard, you don't think that we balance out between work giving each other grace, who's got the kids, who's doing this around the house, what are we planning for that? And it does take two different, I think, mindsets, you know. I say opposites attract for a reason. And I think that it really does play a lot into our lives.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, 100%. So where do you see, like, let's think about let's go back in time, right? So we've been together for 40 years, 50 years. Yeah, it feels like that sometimes. I would have been a little bit more than that. It's not even gonna help me because we just have those convos. Um, so we've been together for almost 14 years now, right? So when we first got together, like to where we are now, how did we get here?
SPEAKER_02Out of alcohol.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Out of alcohol.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that was fun.
SPEAKER_02Um, you know, how did we get here? You know, lit without a doubt, I do think therapy, you know, helped, you know, from my perspective, at least a lot get us here with the changes, you know, to me, to changes to understanding you, to changes to, you know, how to navigate, you know, our lives. Um, I think we also both push each other either through words or through actions, you know, what we're doing. Um, you know, you're doing this, I'm doing this, and like we both started, you know, EOS. You know, I I started EOS from being um in the real estate field, being part of Tom Ferry Coaching Organization, read the book Traction, became aware of it, had them come in, you know, to my office to talk to me about favorite story with Dan.
SPEAKER_03How Dan and I met.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, to have me talking about, you know, what um, you know, how to get myself, you know, structured and organized. And I wanted you there because you're my biggest critic.
SPEAKER_03And I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just honest.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I will, and this is why I'm a great therapist too, because I will say the shit that no one else has the balls to say.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, that's what they call it. That's what they call it.
SPEAKER_03Still with me, so who needs their head examined? You or me?
SPEAKER_02Without a doubt, I I need my head examined. And then you took the ball and ran with it. And then you took the ball and ran with it, and then I'll piggyback well for you. You don't want to ask any questions or this or that or some other thing.
SPEAKER_03Well, you're very much like Adri, my sister. So the running joke when I was Adrian I were kids was, you know, she would kind of shove me off the deep end first, and if I didn't die, then she'd try it.
SPEAKER_02Correct. Correct. Correct.
SPEAKER_03And you definitely do that.
SPEAKER_02Um and you'll you'll dive in, you know, and then kind of it it it I guess softens the blow. Yeah. I mean, it takes some of the fear out, you know, where the fear doesn't bother you, you know.
SPEAKER_03I am definitely more risk tolerant and you are more risk averse. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like even when, you know, we first met Dan, Dan Singer, who was on an episode, and after he did his whole spiel for like the 90-day, the what is it, the 90s, the focus day. Focus day. And after he left, I was like, oh, so what do you think, Eric? Like he's like, Oh, I don't know, like, I'm not sure if it'll help me. I was like, Well, if you're not gonna hire him, I am.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03And that very much is like our relationship, right? Because you've helped me in so many ways and helped me grow and put me in connection with things that I probably wouldn't have crossed paths with paths with otherwise. And it's definitely helped me get to where I am, and I never take any of that for granted.
SPEAKER_02Right. I think you need to have in a relationship, especially like you and I, you need to have a strong sense of self, you know, because it is gonna challenge you when your partner is either doing something better or is pushing you or whatever. If you don't have that strong core, that strong sense of self yourself.
SPEAKER_03You know why I'm laughing?
SPEAKER_02Nope, not a clue. Um St.
SPEAKER_03Patrick's Day when we started dating. I know my word. Like I because we weren't officially exclusive yet. And I was like, well, if you're not gonna lock it down.
SPEAKER_02And typical Eric fashion, I don't think I locked it down that day.
SPEAKER_03No, it was like a month after that.
SPEAKER_02Yep, I'm a good negotiator. What can I say?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, you know, so you know, how to put baby in a corner, baby comes out, you know. That's the wrong way with me. Um so, but yeah, it's you know, I think a lot of that really comes together for you and I. And then, you know, I think, especially lately, it's more of like, okay, giving, giving room for conversation, giving room for grace, I think is, you know, important. And, you know, being able to change. Like, we just got a babysitter back where we haven't had date nights. God love her. But like I think that, you know, for you, you had to go through like, all right, you know, I'm I'm I need the balance. I need to be a wife again, I need to have data time, I need to have alone time, and like, yeah, because I saw, you know, on our first date night that you were like, you were freer. Yeah. You know, so but being able to adapt that, and you know, every man I talk to, you know, goes through the same thing, you know, with their wives, young children, and trying to keep, you know, the marriage going and stuff like that.
SPEAKER_03The biggest thing that helped there too is that you let me get there on my own. You were patient, which is one of your strengths. Um you're not patient in every aspect, but I think you're impatient. You're impatient where it's good to be impatient, right? Um, but that I think is a really big reason why, like right now, we'll be like totally honest. Right now we're in we're in the hard years, right? Like our kids are three and six, and I think this is where a lot of relationships struggle. Um so the fact that you know, you hold me accountable, but also give me space to process because I mean I tell you how many times, like, uh I'm a slow processor, just let me get there. And you do. And I appreciate that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. But we're in the hard years right now.
SPEAKER_02100%. And it is, you know, you're going through it, and and I think, you know, I I am very logical with your emotional. You? Yeah. You know, just you're not logical at all. Just a wee bit. Umrigid. But we digress. I know you want to be like me. You know what I mean? It's a goal of yours. One of these days, maybe if you take my, you know, my classes, maybe you'll get there. I don't want to be like you. Yeah, yeah. That's what they're doing.
SPEAKER_03I love you, but yeah, if I wanted to be like you, then we would fight a lot.
SPEAKER_02We fight a lot anyway, darling. What's a bulls? What do you expect? You know.
SPEAKER_03Just remember who's the actual Taurus.
SPEAKER_02Uh you are. That's right. That's right. But I'm stubborn like a bull. You know, that is true. I don't know what sign or astral, what moon has to surface, whatever.
SPEAKER_03You know, no, you're rising sign of Scorpio. You're a cancer, which a cancer and a Taurus are a great pair, but you're also so sensitive and you don't realize it, and it's so annoying.
SPEAKER_02I'm not sensitive. Yeah. Um that hurt my feelings. I'm so sorry. That hurt my feelings. I love you. You know, it's hurting the feelings. Go with that. Just feel the feelings.
SPEAKER_01So there you go.
SPEAKER_02There you go. Back to being on the couch.
SPEAKER_03What's it like being married to a therapist?
SPEAKER_02Torture. I mean, it's a wonderful thing. It's it's wonderful. Um, you know, in all reality, it's hard. Because there is, you know, I think not only.
SPEAKER_03Why is it hard for you?
SPEAKER_02Why so I think in all reality for me, like not only not only are you a therapist, you are a very good therapist. So you can see things, you know, and a lot of things, and you do make your interpretations, you know what I mean, of it, or you have a vision, even if it's, let's say there's 10 avenues, you may think it's two or three, and you're you're that, you know what I mean? It's where I would assume being married to a non-therapist, you know, those things, those, those thoughts don't come into somebody else's mind. It just kind of ends there. It's not pulling the onion off. And I'm I would assume, you know, similar to me, that I'd like to think that I can read people pretty well, you know, and read a lot of of you, that I probably have the same thing. We both say sometimes, can we just shut the fuck up and just like this is it, it's done. You're an ass, I'm an ass, move on. You know what I mean? Rather than, you know, digging in deeper.
SPEAKER_03Well, you definitely comes up in couples therapy with with us too. You definitely have a hard time when I get curious.
SPEAKER_02And I'm a man, this is what happens.
SPEAKER_03But in no way, and this is something that definitely is like a not a point of contention, but like a um something we struggle with. So you are more emotionally avoidant, right? And I am I'm literally in the business of feelings, that's what I do. So everything that I know from like relational therapy and stuff is to not personalize some don't get defensive and instead be curious and try to build intimacy and learn about the other person. That is hard for you when I go into too much, like I get almost too curious.
SPEAKER_02Like you go to the therapy mode, you keep digging.
SPEAKER_03But so that's what's interesting, right? You call it therapy mode, but I'm curious. If I wasn't a therapist and I was just curious and trying to learn more about you, and and instead of making everything about me, would it still bother you as much?
SPEAKER_02Probably.
SPEAKER_03Why?
SPEAKER_02Because you gotta go deep, you gotta go in there, and sometimes like I'm tired and don't want to go there. I think a lot of it has to do with timing and setting. You know, absolutely and you know that could also determine where you and I, you know, are at if we're in a battle, you know, over a week. If you're like, hey, I want to get curious, yeah. I want to get curious with my fist. You know what I mean? Like aggressive.
SPEAKER_03So, you know He doesn't actually hit me everybody. Once in a while, he thinks he's funny sometimes and he's really not.
SPEAKER_02She would beat me before I beat her, so you know.
SPEAKER_03Yes, I'm Sicilian, that's what we do.
SPEAKER_02You know, so but it's it I think a lot of it, you know, is there and then you know, emotions to me are a newer concept in my life. You know, we started dating um what I was saying.
SPEAKER_03January 2013.
SPEAKER_0227, right? 27, 28, something like that.
SPEAKER_03You're the math guy, not me.
SPEAKER_02Um yeah, along those lines. And, you know, it definitely, you know, prior to that, you know, emotions were just kind of pushed down and not engaged. And, you know, you mean up until that point? Up until that point in my life, you know. So two thirds of my life, it wasn't one third, it it has been. And, you know, one third has been a journey, you know, like starting that kind of rebirth.
SPEAKER_03You know, was that part of your rebirth?
SPEAKER_02You were. I've called you my crack. He has called me his crack.
SPEAKER_03That was very, yeah. Um, would you like to give a little context there?
SPEAKER_02Um I don't remember the exact you know part. You probably do better than I.
SPEAKER_03I believe it was with Susan, our first therapist. Um yeah, so we we've gone not gone through, but we've kind of graduated, I feel like. Um we're on a third. We're with Michelle now, and we've uh Susan was our first therapist, then Stephanie, who's amazing. Yeah, um, Susan was amazing too, and Michelle is freaking wonderful. Um, but I think it was with Susan where you were talking about how so uh I'm Italian, we know this, right? And I'm very, very loving and nurturing. And you're that's not how you grew up. So when we met, you were like, Eee, you need to latch on to that, and called me your crack because you were like, Oh my god, what is this amazingness that I've never had before and I need more of it?
SPEAKER_02Correct, that's exactly right, yes. Yes and you know, you don't know what you don't know, you know, and know what was missing. I think, you know, probably a little before our relationship began, I kind of felt a little bit of that void. Um, and then you know, bam, it was in my face, and you know, some sometimes, once in a while, not often, you could be intense. Me? And you know, once in a while, you know, and uh I know no, I know not what you speak of. And um, you know, so it just you know it was all there. So it wasn't like, oh, we're gonna lead up to it, it was all in, you know. So it became that, you know, like an addiction, for lack of better words.
SPEAKER_03It's a great thing to be addicted to.
SPEAKER_02It's true.
SPEAKER_03To be addicted to love. There is nothing wrong with that. Correct. Can you, because you are a um the best role model ever for our son, right? I'll get emotional just because I'm so grateful for that. Um but as a man, right, you've definitely you are so open and honest with therapy and and things that you've worked through. There's a big reason why I wanted you on this podcast too, because that's something that I'm very passionate about as well, which is like we don't really give men the space to be human. So can you share, can you like being vulnerable, just share like a little bit about like what you know what brought you into therapy? And you know, you had said like the first 27 years of your life you didn't know what that was like to have love. So, like what was life like for you?
SPEAKER_02So, what got me, you know, I went to therapist as a kid, you know, definitely a a a wild, you know, um rambunctious, you know, fighter as a kid. And I think beautiful quality. Yeah, and I think that it was basically like to get me to behave as you know as a kid, probably that call at that five, six years old to I don't know, seven, eight, nine, whatever it was. And then even the time when I spent at my aunt, you know, you can call that some some therapeutic, you know, of balancing out and you know, learning how to kind of deal with um my mother, you know, and and not fight every day and get that balance. Um, and then in my adult life, you know, when you and I started dating, you know, it was because we were fighting, you know, we got into therapy really in couples therapy, um, you know, with Susan. I'm like, all right, you know, I'll give it a try, let somebody try to, you know.
SPEAKER_03You were actually the one that asked to go, not me, which is shocking.
SPEAKER_02You know, and um, you know, we we went we went to Susan and went to Stephanie, and you know, we're going to Michelle now, and you know, we we've had a lot of therapists, some you know, quit, some turn to drugs and alcohol.
SPEAKER_03See, there's just John Pennett quotes at some quit, some turn to president.
SPEAKER_02I had to throw that one in there.
SPEAKER_03Literally the greatest comic. If no one's familiar, you need to listen.
SPEAKER_02Yep. And RP. Yeah. So, you know, I think that, you know, I went into therapy in essence and a couples perspective, honestly, to, you know, help us get along or fix whatever's going on between you and I. For the interpersonal stuff, right? Right. And, you know, what I didn't know, what I'm grateful for is all that I learned individually. And it's funny because in all three of our scenarios, you know, as we went in as couples, I ended up being, I think b most of the time you and I did individual with the same therapist, which to me is important because I think that, you know, you're gonna spend, let's say, half of your troubles are most likely what's going on at home. You know, the other stuff could be outside of the home. Um but it all relates, right?
SPEAKER_03Correct. It's all the same nervous system, whether it's home or out at work.
SPEAKER_02Yep. It's all the same person. And a lot of, you know, how who you are is who you are in both places. So, you know, it ended up doing a lot for me, you know, teaching me a lot, teaching me a lot, you know, um, you know, personally, professionally. You know, I talk about like therapy, what it what I think life would be like with and without. And, you know, you you know this story of like where if a baby goes and chews something and takes it out of their mouth and gives it to you, you know, in Stephanie's office, we were I was like, ew, you just take it, ew, that's disgusting. I don't want that. And what she said is you're just rejecting, you know, this little baby that's trying to do something nice and give it to you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And, you know, I was taught you take it, you put it in your hand, and you act like you're eating it, and when they're not looking, you throw it in the garbage.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. And you regulate your own reaction, right?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and then when Philip was born, you know, he was probably right around one year's old. We were sitting in the backyard, and he chewed something, took it out of his steak, gave it to it, gave it to my mother, and my mother was like, Oh, I don't want that. And I'm like, that's what it would have been.
SPEAKER_01Wow.
SPEAKER_02You know what I mean? And I I take a lot of, you know, from my mother, you know, with a lot of excuse, but without the uh intervention, whether it's the right word or wrong word, you know, the the guidance, the understanding, you wouldn't, like where, you know, I can only speak to myself, you know, you weren't brought up with that stuff. And I think that I do think post-COVID the world is changing as far as therapy not being a dirty word. You know, definitely before that it was. And you know, men, you know, you look at some of these Instagram posts, I talked to other dads, and it's like as a man, your job is just to go, is to shut up, yeah, you know, go in silence and go.
SPEAKER_03Which is terrible.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and that and that's most men are what they do, you know what I mean, until the men explode and the men are supposed to have that wild type.
SPEAKER_03So it's like anger's the only emotion you're really allowed to have.
SPEAKER_02You know, so even some of those times with me in my individual therapy, you know, it's sometimes of just unloading, you know, what happened in the week, just to kind of let it out and get it there.
SPEAKER_03And sometimes you love to talk, so you love having that space hundred percent. Yak your own, you love it, yeah.
SPEAKER_02You know, so it's you know, it's I do think it's important, you know, personally to do that. I think it's huge professionally, and one of the biggest reasons why I believe our office has the success levels that it does is because a lot of the coaching and one-on-one training that I do with agents has a lot of a therapeutic value.
SPEAKER_03Absolutely. You know, I I tell you all the time, you do what no other broker does.
SPEAKER_02Correct.
SPEAKER_03Like I've I haven't seen that anywhere.
SPEAKER_02Correct. And most of the time, like in my profession, if the agents that I'm recruiting, most of them are not new agents that need to know, you know, what a lead paint disclosure is.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_02You know, they need they they have clients, they have uh, you know, a touch of a business and they need to learn how to do it. And the biggest problem in sales is being consistent, you know, people getting in their own out of their own way and being a structure. And this is in any business, you know, discipline over motivation, you know what I mean? Every single time. It's I try to teach that, try to analyze what's going on with them, what's what's working, what's not working. It's a big part of our chairman's group of how to you know push that forward. So yeah, it makes a big, big difference.
SPEAKER_03Are you boring yourself as you go on?
SPEAKER_02A little bit, a little bit, a little bit. Try to hold that yawn in. See, she could see it.
SPEAKER_03I see everything. Try to hold it in.
SPEAKER_02I was like, oh, I'm yawning, it's coming in. Talk to her.
SPEAKER_03Love that. Yeah. So couples therapy really helped you kind of with your own individual stuff too. And yeah, like so. We our therapists did actually were able to do individual stuff with us. I will give a caveat to that. That that is rare. I think it's we had three very, very excellent therapists, and I think also because I'm a therapist, I was very aware to not make that therapist triangulate, feel triangulate, feel like I was very aware of like the the relationship was their client. And Stephanie was the one who put it in those words. Um so I say that for anyone listening of make sure that if if your therapist does do that, that they have that skill set to really not take sides because it can some a client will feel that way. So being able how to navigate Navigated is really important. You poor baby, you are so exhausted.
SPEAKER_02I'm tired. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Eric has his physical later today, and so he can't have any caffeine in the morning.
SPEAKER_02No caffeine.
SPEAKER_03Well, you could have black coffee, but you don't want it.
SPEAKER_02I don't like black coffee.
SPEAKER_03It's such a shame because it's delightful. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So how you run your business, right? How you run your brokerage. Let's just start there. With coffee.
SPEAKER_00With coffee.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, caffeine in a dream. Um, so how like where all the stuff you've done in therapy, how does that play in and how you run the brokerage?
SPEAKER_02So the the biggest part I would say, um, what it does is it it taught me how to understand what's going on with me. So my emotions, I could tell if I'm anxious, if I'm, you know, nervous, if I'm angry, if I'm happy. You know, I could I could feel that inside of me. So there's always gonna be something that comes up. You're always gonna have, you know, be bombarded.
SPEAKER_03Because you did not know that when we met.
SPEAKER_02You know, I so between therapy and honestly, body and brain, um, I would say that did a lot moving that connection. You know, I'm not a big meditation guy, my ADD kicks in, you know, after a while.
SPEAKER_03You meditate, you just meditation isn't sitting going on for you.
SPEAKER_02You know, and that was one of the biggest things that body and brain taught me was, you know, I don't remember the exact terminology that they use, but movement motivation, movement meditation. And um, you know, you move, then you meditate for a couple of minutes. Like we need movement.
SPEAKER_03We're hardwired to move.
SPEAKER_02Well, my definitely me, I know that like if I want to listen to a podcast, I need to be working out because that kind of splits my attention. So where I slowed down enough to do that, where if you're you just explained why EMDR works. Oh, there you go. That wasn't even playing.
SPEAKER_03Doing two things at once to slow down and actually grab your attention. That is dual awareness at its finest.
SPEAKER_02And I've learned, you know, through I'd say through therapy, through that stuff, being aware. So, like being aware of that and then understanding that, like that's that's my style, you know. Um, you know, definitely, you know, uh even some of the coaching that I've been in, you know, I think, you know, relates to, you know, how you work, how the body works, how the mind works. And I think it makes it uh uh important to kind of say, okay, like okay, you know what's going on with you, you know, what's your learning style? You know, even to the extent of when I was talking to agents and they're like, oh, we're listening to a podcast, we need to speed it up. I'm like, that's your ADHD, I would assume, you know, something along those lines. Like that works for you, so let's do that. You know, you can hear it better. So all those things of like understanding really, you know, what's people's learning style.
SPEAKER_03I love that. I love that. That's something that you do that's so rare, is that you treat each person individually.
SPEAKER_00100%.
SPEAKER_03Instead of trying to make everybody fit a mold, like everybody should do it this way. Right. You are like how we say in therapy client attuned, but you are person attuned with your agents, where you get curious what works for you. And let's figure out how to use that to your advantage instead of people feeling like, what's wrong with me? Why can't I do it the way that I'm being told to do? Right.
SPEAKER_02Well, most of the real estate offices, most of the real estate business, if there's 50 agents in office, there's maybe, maybe 20 that are doing business. Yeah, actually, not even, there's probably only 10 that are doing business. And things are changing. You know, rule. And it's I think most of the industry is really built on just kind of the masses. Yeah. You know, and the masses do less than you know, five deals. I think Nar put out a statistic 85% of agents in the US did five deals or less in 2025.
SPEAKER_03Wow. So that's a big stat.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So I I, you know, I don't look for that. And if an agent is doing less than five and wants to come over to our office, okay, do you want to grow? Do you want to learn? Or is this just a side hustle for you? Or you kind of like stuck in your ways and and not there, it's not that you have to do a hundred deals, but I want you to be able it to fit in our culture. You have to be able to say, okay, what's going on? Where do I want to go? And it's not just what you want. Yeah, you know, and so I think that that makes a big difference. So I can train more on an individual, you know, level because I am a lot more selective in essence of what I do, and I do enjoy it. You know, that's the part that I do enjoy in the business.
SPEAKER_03I always joke that like you should we should switch roles one day because you would love being a therapist because you love right getting curious about people, which is what I basically do, and I could see a lot of things 100%.
SPEAKER_02And I could see a lot of things in people, you know, what works, what doesn't work, and you know, what's gonna get in their way, what's not, you know, one especially once I learned from them. And you know, I think just you know, paying attention, listen, learning. You have to know what's going on with you to be able to do that. You know, if I'm walking, sometimes I'm walking up to a door on a listing presentation and I feel myself nervous. I can't tell you the mechanics, and maybe you can of what makes it switch once that door opens, but it just I go right into go mode, same thing, you know.
SPEAKER_03Nothing switches, you just use you harness that mobilization to perform. Yeah, it works for you.
SPEAKER_02We we talked about this anticipatory anxiety, yeah. You know, leading up to it, probably because I'm an overthinker, things in your head. And I know once you turn the camera on, mic on, we're good to go. You know, we were talking about, oh, I've done a podcast and this and that. I actually did read, you know, the the description yesterday that you know you put out, but it was like, I'm gonna go and I'm gonna do me. You know, it and I know, you know, I don't need a lot of prep work, I can rock and roll.
SPEAKER_03Well, you have what we call the optimal level of arousal, right? So like you get that mobilization and it helps you execute versus in some individuals who have um really, really high anxiety, that actually shuts down their ability to function. Right. So you are able to harness it. And that's I think a big thing that, you know, I find myself as a therapist saying to a lot of people is there's nothing wrong with that feeling. It's why we get stuck and why we maybe don't function is because we think there's something wrong with it and then we shut down because we're like, what's wrong with it? Nobody goes into something being completely calm and being like, yeah, it doesn't bother me at all. Everybody's got some type of like it's almost like starting the energy, you're starting a car and it's mobile. That's how we get stuff done. We need to be somewhat mobilized, right? Right? Yeah, so yeah, like your ability to not assign meaning to that is really, I think, what has gotten you where you are.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, and then like you said, you know, uh motivation versus discipline. I think we had a workout, and this is what it sucked for me. It was the the beach body workout, whatever it was during COVID. Oh, yeah, with uh Amber, whatever her name was. Yeah, and it was like, you know, you're not gonna be motivated every day, but you gotta be disciplined. Yes. And I said this to you last week, you know, we I picked up Philip from the the dad and you know thing at school. Yeah. And, you know, I was on my way and walking out of the house into the car to head to a uh meeting, and I had calls to make, and I was like, I was walking down the steps out of a house, and I'm like, I really don't want to do this today. Right. And then I got in the car and I made five calls. Right. You know, like this, you do what you gotta do.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, happiness is optional, right? Like, or like we don't always want to do the things, but we don't have to like it. Right. Want is is an emotion. Right.
SPEAKER_02Tom Ferry talks about choose your heart. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03It was like choose your heart was in there too. Yeah, maybe she was uh getting some info from Tom Ferry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's I mean, that's so much like how that plays into all aspects of life, right? Our marriage, our children, both of our work, like and stuff. Um and I think our relationship is very special in the sense that if I think if it were anybody else, we wouldn't succeed. Because both being self-employed, both incredibly stressful scenarios, we make it work.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and I I do think that you know the the two being self-employed, I think, make a big difference, but also where you are in your careers, I think make a difference, you know, where like I remember when you worked, you know, for Holistic, and you know, I've been self-employed since I was in diapers. Yes. And you know, the you know, you didn't understand it. Yeah, with the cigar, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yes, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um but like you didn't understand it as much when, you know, when at that point, and then even to the extent like I see obviously I have a few more years on you of doing this.
SPEAKER_00Just a few.
SPEAKER_02Um it's because I started when I was in diapers. And Baby Herman. Yep. And you know, just kind of that progression. The dogs. I knew that's where you're gone. Yeah. Um, you know, that that progression to even where, you know, yes, I'll get up early in the morning, you know, 5 30, 6 o'clock, and do work before, you know, I gotta get things rolling, be intentional. And now, you know, you used to yell at me like you're on the couch, but you're on your laptop, you're not home, you're not here. You're here, but not here before you weren't as busy. Now you're in that phase.
SPEAKER_03Yep.
SPEAKER_02And where you'll go to bed at 12, 1, 2 o'clock in the morning on your laptop, or you know, we'll both be on the laptop at 9 o'clock on the couch after the kids go to bed.
SPEAKER_03But we'll do it together.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and it's like, but it's I understand that perspective as you know, right. And where I I probably won't be up two o'clock in the morning, probably because I can't stay up two o'clock in the morning.
SPEAKER_03No, you are so tired all the time. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But, you know, it's like I get that. And I think that that does the understanding, you know, sometimes it it works in a relationship, let's, you know, use the stereotypical, you know, the man makes all the money, the woman, you know, stays at home. And sometimes, like, all right, he's working to all then because he's providing for house. That whatever the acceptance, you know, is for it, whatever the whatever works in the household, I think is important. But if it gets Well in our household, it's both, right?
SPEAKER_03It's not so black and white, right? And that's uh a big thing that I think makes us work is we don't like oh, you your job is the kids, your job is to work, and we divide and conquer, but like in a way of like today, I like you're gonna do the kids, like you do so much more than any dad I've I've seen. Like, and it's amazing to me, and I'm so grateful for it. And I wouldn't be able to do what I do without that. Um you heard that, right? Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna repeat it again. Yeah. Speak loud and clearly. I mean, I tell you all the time, I'm very good at verbalizing my gratitude.
SPEAKER_02Now I have it on camera.
SPEAKER_03And now you have proof when I tell you you're a dingus.
SPEAKER_02Correct.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Um, but that's a big part of I think what helps with that is that we're not trying to fit into any mold. Right? It's okay, you're you're taking the kids to their dentist appointment, and I'm gonna be at work late, and that's how it goes. Like, and every day's different. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And being able to navigate that, I think that you know, one of the things that has been helpful, I think, lately, in essence, with us is that like the ebb and flow. I think because you and I, we have so much going on, and when we went to our our newest couples therapist, um, you know, she the first thing she said, the issue, you know, in our relationship is we have too much going on. Yeah. And I think in my opinion, nothing has changed in the last few months as far as what's going on. If anything, it's gotten worse. But I think there's been more of an ebb and flow. Um, like, all right, you do this, and it's not like, okay, well, you guys can have a date, and you can have this, like we're less reactive to each other. Yeah, like I can definitely run at a pretty high pace. I know this. You are insane. You're telling you slow down all the time. I can I can manage much, much more than what most people can do. I I understand that.
SPEAKER_03You're like high octane all the time, which is a gift and a curse, but you know what?
SPEAKER_02Any any top producer, you know what I mean? Jordan was at the gym at 5 a.m., you know, working 12, you know, 13 hours a day, you know, and that's he's a Bulls fan, guys.
SPEAKER_03Yes, yes, yes. You grew up on Jordan, but the Knicks just won the championship, they did, they did, they finally got one, you know?
SPEAKER_02You know, I enjoyed the Knicks win.
SPEAKER_03I that was amazing, especially with our son.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so but even and I see this in the industry, the people that are are crushing it and doing it. It's the same, you know, they're they're pushing it out. They're you know, they're they're grinding it out, they're finding the room for it. Yeah, and they're you know, to me, you know, when I asked the the former CEO of Remax, you know, Adam? Yep, I love Adam you know, uh, you know, what to do, basically like how to get there, he's like, be intentional. And I I I really do run a lot with that of like being intentional with my time.
SPEAKER_03Yep. That's something we're both super passionate about, and we have like you have a huge sign on your office that says be intentional, right? I have it in my office that says start every day with intention. That's mindful living, right? Right? And definitely I think on our next episode where uh part two we'll talk more about uh you know building businesses while building a family because that's been fun.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03But being intentional, right? Like being intentional with our our relationship and how we want to interact with each other. Yeah, where do you think a lot of couples fail?
SPEAKER_02Um some of it is probably communication. Um you know, I I do think I don't think couples therapy is a bad thing. I think that, in my opinion, everybody should every relationship should probably have some form of couples therapy. For lack of better words, you know, you may have an opinion, I may have an opinion. We may both may be right, we both may be wrong. How do you navigate it? You know, if you're if you're hijacked, you know what I mean, then you're not gonna be able to do it. And I use this analogy at work that think of it like a glass cube, you know, emotions are gas. You can keep pumping gas into that box. You know what I mean? It's a pretty high level versus water. There's a finite amount of space that, you know, this amount of water can pour into a glass. You know, so emotions you can keep pumping into it.
SPEAKER_03And if you don't know, I think in pictures, so I'm like visualizing this in my head right now.
SPEAKER_02You know, you need to let some of that gas out to be able to then think. If your brain is that clear box and it's full of making fark jokes in my head now because you said gas out. Now I'm just like ha ha ha ha, there's fark jokes in there. Yep. Sorry, too immature to handle that. This is true.
SPEAKER_03I love having you as a guest because I can really let it rip and be my normal fucking crazy ass before.
SPEAKER_02Oh, they're coming back, you know.
SPEAKER_03Um you can't leave.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02I said I would have been out of jail quicker. You know? Um true. Um but yeah, I think that makes a big difference. So I think, you know, having that, you know, a uh a couple therapy or somebody in there, for lack of better words, you know, mediator. Just and it doesn't have to be a negative connotation, but how do we solve this?
SPEAKER_03You know, I love the analogy you used once when you said that, you know, if your pipes are broken, you're gonna call plumber. If there's relational conflict, call a therapist. Like that's their specialty.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. And I always love that analogy.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03So can you, before we wrap up this episode, um, because I this is my favorite thing that you've ever said, can you just give your little um spiel about tuition? Because I really love it so much.
SPEAKER_02So I didn't go to college, right? I did one year in college and one year, one semester? One year. Yeah, it was two semesters, right? Two semesters make a year, right? The second semester, I wouldn't say I went that much, but I went. I didn't fail any classes, you know. Statistics gave me a D, but it still wasn't a fail. You know, go figure the math part. Um fascinating too. You know, but so I didn't I didn't go and and you know, I know a lot of people come out of college with you know two, you know, they're paying tuition and they have debt. And you know, my biggest thing is learning from things. So if you can learn from a mistake, my aunt told me when I was younger, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. And so that means, you know, extreme ownership, great, great book, you know, if you haven't read it. And you know, you go in, you own it. It's okay, you got fooled twice, so don't be fooled twice. You know, understand what happened. You know, I'll ask clients, well, you know, you unfortunately can't win them all. What made you decide to list your property with another broker? I'm always looking to improve myself and my business. Can you tell me what I could have done differently or what I could have done differently to run a business or whatever variation of that? And you know, to me, like that's a tuition. And anytime you fail, instead of looking at a failure, so you fail to lose money. Correct. You know, money, money is in theory, is failure an easy way to quantify it. So if you can get that and say, okay, you know, I failed this cause, this deal didn't happen, it cost me $20,000. You know, what's the deal with it? So if that happens, great. And that's what did I learn from it? What I learned from it, it wasn't that, oh, I lost $20,000. It's I paid $20,000 tuition to learn what I could have done better. Those are your college credits, those are my college credits. I love that. I love that. Yep.
SPEAKER_03So for everyone listening, whether it's real estate or if they um want to improve their real estate career, want to sell a house, or just need to talk to someone who gets it, where can they find you?
SPEAKER_02So the best way is the Geico Airplane Over the Beach.
SPEAKER_03Oh gosh.
SPEAKER_02Now you can get me. Uh my website is Westchesterhomesource.com. Our investment site is Westchesterhomesale.com. Um on Instagram, Facebook, uh, LinkedIn. We probably have a TikTok.
SPEAKER_03Um No, you started during COVID and then we didn't last very long because I made fun of you for dancing in the hallway. Yep.
SPEAKER_02You can find me on there, cell phone, email. Email's the best way to get you. Google me, Eric Stein, Remax, and Tuckle.
SPEAKER_03Thank you for being here. I know we're gonna jump into like in the next episode, but we'll pause here. Um I love you.
SPEAKER_02Love you too. Thank you.
SPEAKER_03I'm so grateful for you being here.
SPEAKER_02Thank you.
SPEAKER_03And we will catch you guys on the next episode where we jump into just what it's like building businesses and raising a family at the same time. Good stuff.
SPEAKER_00Yep. Yeah. 100%.
SPEAKER_03Thanks everybody for listening. I'm Dana Caretta Stein, always here to remind you that we repeat what we don't repair. Thank you for listening to another episode of the Truth About Healing Podcast. If you know someone who's still stuck, share this episode with them. Because as you know, the truth can set them free. And if you're ready to get started to see what you need to repair, contact us at peacefulliving mental health counseling.com and we will get you started. Until next time, I'm Dana Coretta Stein, reminding you we repeat what we don't repair. This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice. Listening does not create a therapist client relationship. If you need support, contact a licensed professional or your local emergency services.